How to Stop Micromanaging (When You Don’t Think You’re a Micromanager)

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Let’s talk about Marcus.
Especially since it’s just you and I speaking and he can’t hear us.
(And, no, Marcus is not his real name)

Marcus is an SVP of Product at a mid-size SaaS company. He’s a sharp chap, quite experienced, and genuinely cares about his team. He also reviews every user story before it hits the backlog, he sits in on interviews for roles 3 levels below him, and he regularly asks for updates on projects he’s not involved in, just so he can stay informed.

When I asked Marcus why he does that stuff, he said, “I like to stay close to the work. It’s important at my level.”

I then asked him if he thought he was a micromanager.

“Heck no!” he laughed. “I’m just thorough.”

And that leads us to the most common thing about micromanagers: almost none of them think they are one.

I genuinely believe it’s not about denial – it’s simply a blind spot. The behaviors that look like micromanagement from the outside, look a lot like diligence and high standards from within.

Which means the question isn’t whether you think you’re a micromanager. It’s whether you’re behaving like one.
So before we talk about how to stop micromanaging, we first have to talk about your behavior, Marcus.

Oh wait, did I just call you Marcus? Sorry, my bad.
You’re probably nothing like Marcus, right?
Read on and we’ll see.


What Micromanaging Actually Looks Like

Micromanaging is rarely about being controlling and staring over your employee’s’ shoulders. That’s just the cartoon version. Most micromanagers are smart, well-intentioned people who have gotten very good at their jobs and have a hard time watching things get done in a different way than they would do them.

In fact, here’s what micromanagement actually looks like in the real world:

  • You give someone a task and then check in before they’ve had time to even start it.
  • You ask for updates more frequently than the work actually requires.
  • You get a deliverable back and rewrite it instead of giving feedback and letting them revise it on their own.
  • You’re copied on emails that don’t require your involvement because somewhere along the line, that became the norm.
  • You find yourself doing things that were supposed to be delegated because it was “just faster.”

None of those things feel like control. They feel like you’re just staying on top of things. You’re just being available and engaged, and making sure quality doesn’t slip away.

But here’s what you don’t realize: the people on the other end of your behavior are convinced you don’t trust them.

They assume that whatever they do, you’re probably going to change it anyway – so they just wait for your input before doing anything substantial.

That’s the problem. And it’s more common than most leaders realize.

The next obvious question would be about how to stop micromanaging. As it turns out, that’s the wrong question.

Why “How to Stop Micromanaging” Is the Wrong Question

Most advice about how to stop micromanaging focuses on changing behavior – things like check in less, delegate more, let go of the small stuff.

That advice isn’t wrong. It just isn’t going to change anything. Because those behaviors aren’t the disease, they’re the symptom.

The micromanaging behavior is a result of something else. There’s a root cause for the behavior. And until you address the root cause, the behavior will keep reasserting itself no matter how many times you white knuckle another framework.

You simply can’t understand how to stop micromanaging without understanding the root cause.
So what’s your root cause?

Good question.
It’s usually one of 3 things. Sometimes it’s all 3 at once.

A trust gap. You don’t fully trust that your person will do the task the way it needs to be done. The question is whether this person actually need more development – or do you just have a problem with ceding control? Those are different issues with two different solutions.

An identity that’s tied to the work. If your sense of pride and value comes from being the person who makes sure things are done right, then delegation feels like a threat to your relevance. You’re not micromanaging to control the work. You’re micromanaging to stay necessary. That’s a very human thing to do – and also a very challenging one. Usually the key to learn how to stop micromanaging starts with unlocking the limitations of your identity.

An environment that rewards it. In some organizations, leaders who stay close to the work get praised for it. They’re seen as engaged, detail-oriented and hands-on. In that case, your organization trained you to do this. Knowing how to stop micromanaging, in that context, means swimming against a current you might not even be aware your floating in.

These three root causes are the reasons why advice about how to stop micromanaging that focuses only on behavior rarely sticks.

The Test That Actually Works

If you want to know how to stop micromanaging, you need to be clear about whether you’re doing it in the first place. Here are the questions worth asking yourself. Or ask somebody else who will be brutally honest with you – probably over a whisky or something.

Do things run differently when you’re not around? If your team noticeably loosens up, or is more productive when you’re traveling, that’s information. Not a complete indictment – information. Your presence is impacting people’s behavior in ways you’re clearly not consciously choosing.

Do people bring you finished work or half-finished work? If your team has learned to check in with you early and often because that’s a red flag. They’re managing you instead of managing their work. I hate to break it to you, but that pattern didn’t happen by accident.

When someone gives you work you’d have done differently, what do you do? If your answer is usually “I fix it” instead of “I give feedback and let them revise it,” you’re not developing your team. You’re micromanaging – and teaching your team to stop thinking on their own.

Can you name the last time someone on your team surprised you with an approach you hadn’t thought of? If you can’t, it might be because they’ve stopped bringing you their ideas. They’ve learned to bring you their tactics instead.

You don’t have to answer yes to all of these to have a micromanaging problem. 1 or 2 honest yes’s is enough to start seriously contemplating how to stop micromanaging.

How to Stop Micromanaging For Real

Knowing how to stop micromanaging for real – not just for a week before the old habits come back – requires changing what you’re prioritizing.

Right now you’re prioritizing the quality of the immediate output. That’s why you stay close. That’s why you rewrite. That’s why you check in so often. Your goal is to make sure the deliverable is good.

You need to change that.

The goal is to have less focus on the product and more focus on your team’s capabilities.

Practically, this means a few things.

First, it means you have to bite your tongue and let imperfect work go out sometimes, because the learning that comes from that is more valuable than the protection of your perfectionism.

It also means giving feedback instead of doing the rewriting yourself – even when rewriting is faster. Your team needs to learn how to assess what meets company standards and what doesn’t. They learn that by doing it.

Another element in the path of how to stop micromanaging is learning to be very clear about what decisions you want to be involved in and what decisions are theirs to make. You don’t want the team to include you in everything. That’s not efficient nor healthy for anyone.

Finally, learning how to stop micromanaging means getting honest about what’s actually causing the behavior. Because if it’s a trust gap, that needs a direct conversation. If it’s an identity issue, that needs a deep dive into your identity. If it’s an environmental pattern, that needs to be consciously dismantled.

Marcus, by the way, eventually saw his behavior for what it was. Not because I told him he was a micromanager – I didn’t use that word. But because I asked him one question that he couldn’t let go of: “What would your team be capable of if they didn’t have access to you?”

He didn’t answer it that session. But the next week when we talked, he did.

“I’m probably not letting them show me how much they are capable of,” he said.

That was a more important answer than even he knew at the time. The secret of how to stop micromanaging is not about a process, it’s about recognizing the limits that you’re putting on your team’s capabilities. It means letting go.

If you’re ready to understand what’s driving the pattern in your own leadership – and figure out how to stop micromanaging in a way that actually lasts – the Leadership Diagnostic Workshop is a good place to start that work.

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Jeff Matlow is a leadership coach, mentor and 3x entrepreneur who helps senior leaders spot the unconscious patterns keeping their teams dependent on them – then redesign the environment so everyone can actually perform. He’s spent 25+ years working with leaders at Disney, Porsche, Nestlé, and hundreds of high-growth companies. Think Ted Lasso meets Brené Brown meets a Navy SEAL. Learn more about working with Jeff or subscribe to The Best Leadership Newsletter Ever.