What Makes A Bad Leadership Coach (And How To Avoid Them)
Reading time: 5 minutes
The leadership coaching industry is full of people who shouldn’t be coaching anyone.
They’re nice. They’re supportive. They have certificates on their wall.
They’re also actively harming your development.
Here’s how to spot a bad leadership coach before you waste six months and $20,000.
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Red Flag #1: They’ve Never Led Anything Themselves
What it looks like:
- Academic background only
- Came from HR or L&D roles
- Career coaches who’ve never been in your role
- Consultants who studied leadership but never practiced it
- Recently certified coaches with no leadership experience
Why it’s a problem:
You can’t coach leadership from theory.
Books and frameworks don’t prepare you for the moment your best performer quits because of something you did. Or when you have to fire someone you hired. Or when your team looks at you after a terrible quarter and you have to figure out what to say.
Theory coaches tell you what should work. Experience coaches know what actually works. Big difference.
This is actually the #1 indicator of a bad leadership coach — lack of real leadership experience. Red flags galore.
The exception:
Some people are naturally gifted coaches without traditional leadership experience. But they’re rare. And they usually have depth in psychology or human behavior that compensates.
What to do instead:
Look for coaches who have:
- Led teams themselves (not just studied leaders)
- Built companies or divisions
- Made hard decisions with real consequences
- Failed at something significant and learned from it
- Been in the arena, not just observed it
→ Related: How to Choose the Right Executive Coach
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Red Flag #2: They Promise Specific Outcomes
What it sounds like:
- “I’ll help you get promoted in 6 months”
- “You’ll 10x your leadership effectiveness”
- “Guaranteed results or your money back”
- “My clients always achieve [specific outcome]”
- “I’ll transform you into [specific type of leader]”
Why it’s a problem:
No honest coach can promise specific outcomes – only a bad leadership coach can. Because coaching isn’t a formula — it’s a process of developing awareness.
I can’t guarantee you’ll get promoted. That depends on your company, your industry, your timing, your competition, and factors completely outside your control.
I CAN help you recognize patterns that are limiting you. What you do with that awareness is up to you.
The truth:
Good coaches can promise:
- To help you see your blind spots
- To challenge your assumptions
- To hold you accountable
- To create space for you to think differently
They can’t promise:
- Promotions
- Perfect teams
- Specific outcomes
- Guaranteed transformations
What to do instead:
Run from coaches who make big promises. Promising guaranteed outcomes is a hallmark of a bad leadership coach who doesn’t understand how coaching actually works. Find coaches who ask good questions and make you uncomfortable.
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Red Flag #3: They Use Vague Buzzwords Without Explaining What They Mean
What it sounds like:
- “Unlock your potential”
- “Authentic leadership”
- “Be your best self”
- “Find your purpose”
- “Leadership presence”
- “Elevate your impact”
Why it’s a problem:
Buzzwords are hiding places for coaches who don’t actually know what they’re doing.
“Authentic leadership” could mean anything. What does that look like behaviorally? How do you know when you’re being authentic vs. performing authenticity? What’s the difference?
If they can’t articulate their approach clearly and specifically, they don’t have one. Hiding behind buzzwords is how a bad leadership coach avoids revealing they have no real methodology.
The test:
Ask them: “How exactly do you help leaders become more effective?”
Good answer: Specific approach with clear examples
Bad answer: Generic platitudes about “transformation”
What to do instead:
Find coaches who can articulate their methodology specifically. They should be able to explain:
- What they believe about leadership development
- How their approach works
- What patterns they look for
- How they know if it’s working
- Why they do it this way and not another way
→ Related: Leadership Coaching: The Complete Guide
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Red Flag #4: A Bad Leadership Coach Never Challenges You or Makes You Uncomfortable
What it looks like:
- Every session feels good
- They’re always supportive and encouraging
- They never question your perspective
- They validate everything you say
- They let you blame everyone else
- You leave feeling motivated but nothing changes
Why it’s a problem:
Bad coaches prioritize your comfort over your growth. They want you to like them more than they want you to change.
Good coaching should make you uncomfortable sometimes. Not because the coach is being an asshole, but because real awareness often feels uncomfortable at first.
When you see a pattern you’ve been avoiding, it stings. When someone points out your contribution to a problem, it’s not fun. When you realize you’ve been lying to yourself, it’s unsettling.
A bad leadership coach prioritizes your comfort over your growth — and you stay stuck.
That discomfort is how you know it’s working.
The balance:
Good coaches challenge you AND support you. They make you uncomfortable AND create safety. They’re honest AND kind.
Bad coaches pick one extreme:
- Either they’re nice but ineffective
- Or they’re harsh but not helpful
What to do instead:
Find someone who will tell you the truth even when it’s uncomfortable, but does it in a way that makes you want to keep working with them.
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Red Flag #5: They Talk More Than They Listen
What it looks like:
- Long stories about their own experiences
- Lots of advice-giving
- Interrupting you mid-thought
- Jumping to solutions before understanding the problem
- More interested in being impressive than being helpful
Why it’s a problem:
If your coach is doing most of the talking, they’re not coaching — they’re mentoring at best, lecturing at worst. This is another sign of a bad leadership coach — they’re more interested in impressing you than helping you.
Good coaching creates space for YOU to think. The coach’s job is to:
- Ask questions that make you think differently
- Notice patterns you’re missing
- Reflect back what they’re observing
- Create conditions for your own insights
Not to:
- Tell you what to do
- Share their war stories
- Prove how smart they are
- Give you frameworks to memorize
The ratio:
In a good coaching session:
- You talk 70-80% of the time
- Coach talks 20-30% of the time
- Most of what they say is questions or observations
- When they do share, it’s specific and relevant
What to do instead:
Pay attention to who’s doing more talking in your consultation call. If the coach is dominating the conversation, they’re not a coach—they’re a consultant or mentor.
Both are valuable. But they’re not the same thing as leadership coaching.
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Red Flag #6: They Treat Every Leader the Same Way
What it looks like:
- One-size-fits-all approach
- Same process for everyone
- Standard program structure
- Identical frameworks regardless of your situation
- “My proven system that works for everyone”
Why it’s a problem:
You’re not everyone. Your patterns are specific to you, your history, your current situation, and your challenges.
A good coach adapts their approach to what YOU need, not what worked for their last 10 clients.
Example:
Bad coach approach:
“Everyone starts with a 360 assessment, then we work through my 12-week leadership framework.”
Good coach approach:
“Tell me what’s actually happening. Let’s figure out what you need, then design an approach that fits.”
What to do instead:
Look for coaches who:
- Customize their approach to your situation
- Ask about your specific challenges before proposing solutions
- Adapt their style to what works for you
- Focus on your patterns, not their process
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Red Flag #7: Their Testimonials Focus on How Nice They Are
What they say:
- “So supportive and encouraging!”
- “Really cares about people”
- “Such a nice person to work with”
- “Makes you feel heard and valued”
- “Creates a warm, safe space”
Why it’s a problem:
Nice doesn’t transform anything.
Good testimonials focus on CHANGE, not comfort:
- “Helped me see a pattern I’d been repeating for 10 years”
- “Finally understood why my teams kept failing”
- “Called me on my bullshit in a way no one else had”
- “Three months in, my team was performing differently”
- “Got promoted because I changed how I was showing up”
The distinction:
Nice is necessary but not sufficient. The testimonials for a bad leadership coach always focus on likability, never on transformation. You need someone who cares enough to be honest, not just supportive.
What to do instead:
Read testimonials looking for evidence of transformation, not evidence of likability.
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Red Flag #8: They Charge by the Hour
Why it’s a problem:
Coaching isn’t about time—it’s about transformation.
By-the-hour pricing incentivizes the coach to keep you coming back. It doesn’t incentivize your success or independence.
Good coaches charge for:
- The engagement (6 months, 12 months)
- The transformation (results-based)
- The relationship (retainer)
Not:
- The hour
- The session
- The meeting
The exception:
Some very senior executive coaches charge by the hour because their time is genuinely that valuable. But they’re working with CEOs, not mid-level leaders.
What to do instead:
Look for coaches who structure engagements around outcomes, not hours. They should want you to succeed and graduate, not stay dependent.
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How to Find a Good Leadership Coach
Now that you know what a bad leadership coach looks like, here’s how to find a good one.
Look for coaches who:
✅ Have led teams themselves
✅ Can articulate their approach clearly
✅ Challenge you AND support you
✅ Listen more than they talk
✅ Customize to your situation
✅ Focus on patterns, not tactics
✅ Care more about your transformation than your comfort
✅ Have testimonials that show real change
✅ Structure engagements around outcomes
✅ Will tell you if you’re not a good fit
Avoid coaches who:
❌ Only have academic experience
❌ Promise specific outcomes
❌ Use buzzwords without substance
❌ Never make you uncomfortable
❌ Do all the talking
❌ Use the same process for everyone
❌ Just want you to like them
❌ Charge by the hour
❌ Keep you dependent
❌ Won’t tell you hard truths
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Ready to Find the Right Coach?
Option 1: Work With Me
I’ve been trusted by leaders for 25+ years. I’ll tell you in one call if we’re a good fit.
Option 2: Take The Leadership Assessment
Figure out which patterns are limiting you before you hire anyone.
Option 3: Learn More First
Join 14,000+ leaders who receive insights every Monday.
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Recognizing a bad leadership coach early saves you from wasting critical time at a turning point in your career.
The difference between a good coach and a bad coach isn’t just wasted money. It’s wasted time at a critical point in your career. Choose carefully.
Jeff Matlow spots patterns for a living. Specifically, the ones keeping your team dependent on you—and the siloed environment those patterns create. Then he shows you how to rearchitect the whole thing into a greenhouse environment where people can actually excel. 3x entrepreneur (all companies acquired). 25+ years working with leaders at L’Oreal, Disney, Nestlé, Porsche, Citi and hundreds of high-growth companies. Think Ted Lasso meets Brené Brown meets a Navy SEAL.
